How to Win at Rock Paper Scissors

Last Sunday during Sacrament Meeting, I heard Matthew say, "Claire, let's play Rock Paper Scissors. Rock, paper, scissors." Instead of making a rock, paper or scissors, he made a gun with his hand and exclaimed, "Boom, boom, boom!" I guess that's the guaranteed way to win. Gun beats paper, rock & scissors! Ha-ha!

Under the Bed

A couple nights ago I heard an awesome conversation between Tyler and Claire that went something like this:

Tyler:  Claire, you should really clean your bedroom.
Claire: I know.
Tyler:  You should clean it just like mine.
Claire:  I can't.
Tyler:  Yes you can.
Claire:  No, I can't.  I can't put everything under my bed.

Touché Claire!  I was dying laughing as I heard Claire's smart remark.  Tyler cleaned his room the other day by shoving everything under his bed.  He was shocked when I called him on it.  "How did you know????"  Um, I have eyes.  I don't know why my kids always forget I can see things.  Claire has a daybed with drawers under it so shoving things under her bed is not an option for her.  Maybe I ought to buy Tyler a bed with some drawers or a trundle underneath.  That might make him do a decent job of cleaning his room.  Ha-ha!

Counting to Five

Every mother knows that it is impossible to use the restroom without children interrupting.  It's some sort innate magical power to know when Mom is taking care of her own business. Tonight I tried to provide myself an extra buffer zone of privacy by locking my bedroom door while I was in the restroom.  Matthew was quick to find that I was in the restroom, and quite unhappy that I locked the door.  After a bit of pounding on the door I heard, "Open this door right now!  I'm counting to five and this door better be open!" Then he actually proceeded to firmly count to 5!  I almost died laughing!  When his counting didn't work, he pounded on the door a couple more times and gave up!  That little stinker is so cute & so funny!  I'm so glad I get to be his Mommy!  :)

Lost Key

We keep a locking doorknob on our pantry.  We started this when Tyler was little in a effort to keep him from getting into food that isn't safe for him.  This morning Claire and Matthew found the key and removed it from its holder, then locked it into the pantry.  I'm no dummy, I keep a spare key so that situations like this don't occur.  Unfortunately, the little container that holds the spare keys is hidden away somewhere.  Could be in a random box somewhere or maybe even still in the cabinet at our old house (we brought the doorknob from the old house - we're cheapskates like that).  Now Claire and Matthew are in big trouble for their sneaky behavior.  I told them we can't go to Grandma's house until we get the pantry opened.  Claire really wants to get to Grandma's house so she's tearfully trying to find a solution.  One of her best solutions was that we need an ax and then we can buy a new pantry door!  But the winner is that we need to buy a new doorknob.  I told her that a new doorknob would cost $22 and she would need to get the money from her piggy bank.  She said ok and ran off to get the money.  I laughed and told her that she doesn't need to use her money to buy a doorknob.  She said, "Mommy, kids don't care about money!  We don't spend it."  Now her Rapunzel piggy bank is sitting next to my keyboard and she is begging me to just use her money to buy a new doorknob so we can go to Grandma's house.  I think I will have to give in and agree to look for the key when we get home from Grandma's house.  I hope all of the tears will make her remember that we do not lock the key in the pantry!!!!

Gotta Laugh

A good sense of humor is definitely a necessary character trait to survive as a mother of 4.  So far today I have a few things that had to make me laugh....

Tyler:  Mommmmmyyyyy!  Kate is covered in something yellow.  It's even on her arm.  I think it's poo!
*And it was definitely a big poo mess!  So fun!

Claire's behavior calendar from school was yellow today.  (Green is best.  Then it goes yellow, orange, red.)  Claire tried to scribble out her teacher's note explaining why she was yellow.  Lucky I'm skilled in reading messed up writing from my years as a teacher, so I could make out "Making inappropriate noises."  When I asked Claire to demonstrate what noises she was making, she put her forearm up to her mouth and made a nice loud fart sound.
*Yes that would be my adorable little 5 year old girl making  noisy fart sounds in 1st grade!

Matthew:  Mommy, check.  Did I get all the poo off my bum? (As he bends his full moon over for me to inspect his wiping skills.)

*This brings me great happiness because it sure beats wiping the poo myself.  :)

Me to Kate:  We don't eat dirty diapers.
*Don't need to say any more.

Matthew jumped into the air, pulled his arms in to his chest and made a full spin before he landed.
Then Matthew asked me:  Do you know what that was?
Me:  No
Matthew:  A tornado!
*That one made me laugh so hard.  :)

And the very best moment of my day goes to Claire.  We were watching a movie tonight.  Claire climbed up in my chair with me and ever so seriously and compassionately looked at me and said, "I'm sorry about your fat tummy."
*Gotta love her sincerity!

I'm sure there will be plenty more funny things.  But these were my favorite.  

Youth in a Pill :)

Today Tyler told me that when he grows up he wants to be a scientist.  His plan is to invent a pill that people can take so that they won't get old.  The pill will make them young again.  And my favorite part.... Tyler said that the pill will make me just like I am now!  What a sweetie - he thinks his Mommy is just right the way she is, so much so that he wants to invent a pill to keep me this way!  :)

Waiting for Karma

My sanity is being stretched to its limit.  Just got home from Target with 4 kids.  All I had to do was grab some pictures from the 1 hr photo and let Claire pick a couple scrapbook items for her homework scrapbook page.  We were almost there when Claire noticed she was wearing her Hello Kitty Slippers instead of shoes.  Too bad - not turning around.  She just rode in the seat in the cart.  Kate rode in the basket.  Tyler & Matthew had to walk.  They were HORRIBLE!!!!  Tyler and Matthew just kept nagging each other.  I put them on opposite sides of the cart so they'd leave each other alone.  Matthew kept running in front of the cart and over to Tyler's side to bug him and I'd have to put him back on his side.  While looking at the scrapbook stuff, Matthew and Tyler were out of control loud and bothering each other.  The final straw was when Tyler pinched Matthew.  So then I had Matthew crying and trying to hit Tyler for pinching him and Kate screaming because someone took the pacifier off of the hookie thing in her car seat - AGAIN!  While we were at the check-out stand, I dug a spare pacifier out of the car seat.  What should have been a 5 minute trip into Target turned into a horrible experience and Tyler is now grounded.  I don't understand why my oldest child who is 8 years old is always the WORST when we go shopping.  I hope the Priesthood Preview does not last very long tonight because I really need Jeff to come home and help me with these children who are driving me insane.  Someday when I am a Grandma and my children complain to me about their naughty children I will laugh and laugh and laugh and say one word.....  "Karma!"  :)